If teardrops could be bottled There'd be swimming pools filled by models Told a tight dress is what makes you a whore If "I love you" was a promise Would you break it, if you're honest Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before I don't wanna be you anymore

I must be missing something They just keep doing nothing Too intoxicated to be scared Better off without them They're nothing but unstable Bring ashtrays to the table And that's about the only thing they share I'm in their second-hand smoke Still just drinking canned Coke I don't need a Xanny to feel better On designated drives home Only one who's not stoned Don't give me a Xanny now or ever