I know what I can do and what i want to do, but I try to be smart about the things I choose to do. I also surround myself with really good people. I ask God every day to bring all the right things and all the right folks into my life and help me recognize them when they show up.

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The thing I will never forget was the talk he gave about faith. While the forgettable man handed out little red leatherette-bound New Testaments, “Searchlight” passed out key chains. They were not just any key chains. Each one had a little plastic ball on the end with a single mustard seed inside. The plastic globe magnified it, much like the odd man’s eyes. If you looked closely, you could read a Bible verse on a shred of paper next to the mustard seed. It said, “If ye have faith, even as much as a single seed of mustard, ye shall be able to move mountains.” I took that to heart. In my particular case it might have said, “Ye shall move from the mountains” or even “Ye shall grow mountains and parlay them into a huge career.

Young boys were dragged to church the same way I was. But since they were destined to become men, they were given more leeway. I suppose when they started growing pubic hair they were allowed to wander out of church before the service was over to take their places outside, as if training to be men. Much of their training apparently involved staring back into the church at us girls.
It was the custom after church for the boys and girls to do some limited socializing, flirting, and so on, while the women gossiped and the men smoked and spit. This flirtation, however, was limited by the distance the boy could get the girl to walk into the woods, and the girl’s own boundaries.
So there I sat, trying to be holy, praying for forgiveness for sins I couldn’t put my finger on, repenting for things I had put my finger on, and all the while being aware of the boys looking at me, the woods behind the church, and the possible combinations of all of these things. The devil and I certainly had one thing in common: We were both horny.

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