Love should bring joy, it should grant a person peace, but here and not, it was bringing only pain.

"I'd love to, she finally said,"on one condition."
I steadied myself, hoping it wasn't something too awful.
"Yes?"
"You have to promise that you won't fall in love with me."
I knew she was kidding me by the way she laughed, and I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.
Sometimes, I had to admit, Jamie had a pretty good sense of humor.
I smiled and gave her my word."

But because they didn't see each other very often, their relationship had more ups and downs than either of them had experienced before. Since everything felt right when they were together, everything felt wrong when they weren't.

"I love you, Savannah, and I always will," I breathed. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You were my best friend and my lover, and I dont regret a single moment of it. You made me feel alive again, and most of all, you gave me my father. I'll never forget you for that. You're always going to be the very best part of me. I'm sorry it has to be this way, but I have to leave, and you have to see your husband." As I spoke, I could feel her shaking with sobs, and I continued to hold her for a long time afterward. When we finally seperated, I knew that it would be the last time I ever held her. I backed away, my eyes holding Savannah's. "I love you, too, John," she said. "Good-bye." I raised a hand.

But...as bad as it was, I learned something about myself. That I could go through something like that and survive. I mean, I know it could have been worse — a lot worse — but for me, it was all I could have handled at the time. And I learned from it.