Tucker Carlson Quotes

Anybody with any ambition at all, or intelligence, has left Canada and is now living in New York . . . Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he’s nice but you don't take him seriously. That's Canada.

I had just gotten off the Crossfire set when one of our producers handed me a stack of mail. On the way to the elevator, I glanced at it. On top of the pile was a registered letter from a law firm. It got my attention immediately. I've never had a pleasant letter from a lawyer. This one was worse than most. It was written by an attorney in Indiana named Paul M. Blanton. Blanton wanted to let me know that his client, a woman named Kimberly Carter, was planning to file criminal sex charges against me in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. "Ms. Carter has informed me that she was raped by you," Blanton wrote. "If you should have any questions or concerns about any of the aforementioned, please do not hesitate to contact me." Should I have any questions or concerns? I didn't know where to begin. Rape? Kentucky? Criminal charges? I knew I hadn't raped anyone. I didn't think I'd ever even been to Kentucky.

Now, I know that the left and all the little gatekeepers on Twitter become literally hysterical if you use the term "replacement," if you suggest that the Democratic Party is trying to replace the current electorate, the voters now casting ballots, with new people, more obedient voters from the Third World. But they become hysterical because that's what's happening, actually.

Carlson: Why doesn't he divorce her and, you know, take up plural marriage or something with a bunch of teenagers in a foreign country.

Co-Host: Well, see, Tucker, here's the —

There has to be a point at which Dad comes home. Yeah, that's right! Dad comes home. And he's pissed! Dad is pissed! He's not vengeful, he loves his children, disobedient as they may be, he loves them. Because they are his children, they live in his house. But he's very disappointed in their behaviour, and he's gonna have to let them know. He's gonna have — "Get to your room, right now! And think about what you did!" And when Dad gets home, you know what he says? You’ve been a bad girl. You’ve been a bad little girl and you’re getting a vigorous spanking right now. And, no, it’s not going to hurt me more than it hurts you. No it’s not. I’m not going to lie. It’s going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me. And you earned this. You’re getting a vigorous spanking because you’ve been a bad girl, and it has to be this way.

Carlson: All of a sudden, like we're very skeptical about everything until like some prosecutor comes out and says, "This guy's bad" and the rest of us nod in agreement like a church choir, "Yeah, he's bad." How do we know he’s bad? What do we know exactly? Nothing… I should make the laws round here, and Michael Vick would have been executed, and Warren Jeffs would be out on the street.

I have a lot of trouble writing or doing anything unless the pressure is on . . . If left to my own devices, I'd spend a lot of time playing with my kids and my dogs.

Probably not the best time to give up your AR-15.

And now Trump, I learned this morning, is sitting back and letting them lose the senate. He doesn’t care. I care. I’ve got four kids and plan to live here.

[South Africa is] a country we never talk about because no one wants to admit what’s happened there over the past 29 years.

Carlson: I still can't get over, you know, Obama saying, "They're going to attack me because I'm Black." I mean, that's just ridiculous. I mean, that is so low to say something like that.

Carlson: Well, I think they could get railroaded. I mean, you know, look, here's the bottom line. And I said this the other day and there was all this outrage and, “How could you say that,” but I mean, this woman sells sex for a living. OK? I'm not attacking that — I'm merely noting it. She sells sex for a living. If she's accusing other people of nonconsensual sex, it's a little more complicated than if some, you know, housewife claims she was pulled off the street and raped. It's just not the same thing. It's harder to determine what's consensual and what's not. And to act like, you know, these guys absolutely did it because she's this oppressed stripper, pardon me, adult dancer or exotic dancer, whatever the hell they're calling her, is ridiculous. I mean, these kids, maybe they did do something wrong, I don't know. But, I mean, you got to give them the benefit of the doubt.

[Referring to Ben Shapiro, an American conservative commentator] They don’t care about the country at all, [...] but I do … because I'm from here, my family's been here hundreds of years, I plan to stay here. Like, I'm shocked by how little they care about the country, including the person you mentioned. And I can't imagine how someone like that could get an audience of people who claim to care about America, because he doesn't, obviously.