The cat required far less attendance than a human child, which is one of the reasons why spinster ladies prefer felines to babies. - Elizabeth Peters

Humor is an excellent method of keeping a tight rein on unproductive displays of emotion.

The cat Horus shot out from under the table and headed for the door, his ears flattened and his tail straight out. There he encountered Abdullah, who had been waiting for us on the verandah and who had, I supposed, been alarmed by Emerson's shouts and hurried to discover what disaster had prompted them. The cat got entangled in Abdullah's skirts and a brief interval of staggering (by Abdullah), scratching (by Horus) and swearing (by both parties) ensued before Horus freed himself and departed.

People of that sort seldom fall ill; they are too busy pretending to be ill.