TO ME, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of someth… - Jack Handey

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TO ME, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

Jack Handey

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About Jack Handey

Jack Handey (born 25 February 1949) is an American humorist. He is most famous for his Deep Thoughts, a large corpus of surrealistic one-liner jokes. Deep Thoughts were first seen in small comedy magazine Army Man Comics edited by George Meyer and continued in National Lampoon in 1984 though gained popularity when they were read on Saturday Night Live beginning in 1991.

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Stephen King John Steinbeck Ken Kesey Kurt Vonnegut Daniel Handler

Additional quotes by Jack Handey

IF YOU GO through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker. It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

IF YOU ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.

TO ME, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you ca… - Jack Handey

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