Okay, that is essentially all the background you need to know about federal personnel management. If you’re bored, it’s over, and if you’re hard, wel… - John Oliver

The cable companies have figured out the great truth of America: If you want to do something evil, put it inside something boring. Apple could put the entire text of "Mein Kampf" inside the iTunes user agreement, and you'd just go, "Uh, agree, agree, agr-- what? Agree, agree."

When New Jersey sends us mayors, they're clearly not sending their best.

Okay. I don’t usually do this, but I want you to pause this right now, and write down what you think you just saw. I don’t want to do this for you, just write down what you feel you just witnessed there, then come back and I’ll tell you what I think, okay?