First of all, let's dispense with this absurd stereotype that the French are rude. The French are not rude. They just happen to hate you. - Dave Barry

Americans loved Disneyland, because it gave them something good, something decent, something that epitomized a quality that vacationing American families value above all else: clean toilets.

This book is dedicated to everybody who buys this book. Without you, I would have to get an actual job.

You may have gone to college and learned how to solve all of society's problems, but when you get out in the real world, nobody ever asks you to how to solve all of society's problems. In the real world, what people ask you are questions like: "Can you make coffee?" and "Where's the rent money?"