She wanted — what some people want throughout life — a grief that should deeply touch her, and thus humanize and make her capable of sympathy.

Her grief grieved her. His devastated her.

A pity she did not understand them!

She was lost in her longing to understand.

Sorry for her loss. And he had hugged her. Like he knew what she was holding inside, this secret grief that had hardened where her hidden love once lay.

I think I understand how Caroline Flack felt.

What sorrow was, thou bad'st her know, And from her own she learned to melt at others' woe.

She was rejoicing and mourning at the same time. And also feeling the deep unease that came from the reminder that being familiar wasn’t the same as being understood.

I do not know everything; still many things I understand.

Her name sprang to my lips at moments in strange prayers and praises which I myself did not understand. My eyes were often full of tears (I could not tell why) and at times a flood from my heart seemed to pour itself out into my bosom. I thought little of the future. I did not know whether I would ever speak to her or not or, if I spoke to her, how I could tell her of my confused adoration.

My sister, who never understood most of the things I wanted her to, might have been able to understand what had happened to me in this summer of weddings and beginnings. And she was right. The first boy was always the hardest. page 40000

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

And she would weep. When he saw tears rolling down her face, he would forgive her.
She was less certain whether she would forgive herself.

"Your mother was a door...Always closed. But sometimes I thought she was a window, instead, because through her I glimpsed scenes of suffering."
Even young, I understood this in a way. I understood already from what the women said that my mother was stairs with no destination. She was a burning house, feeding on the air of others. She had no more foundation, no struts, no beams. Always, a person would think she was one step away from collapsing. But she remained standing.