Stand-up is an amazing art form, I think, because it's all about you having complete control of the situation, but absolutely none. - Jim Gaffigan

I do kind of aspire to do comedy that appeals to a wide range of audiences and doesn't divide people. I never want to do material that makes people laugh at the expense of making other people feel bad - not to say I'm not guilty of that at times. ... I try and make humor out of the really important issues of the day, like Hot Pockets and elevators and not wanting to get out of bed.

On MySpace … the whole demographic of the stand-up comedy fan has changed. It's like an indie band thing. People think they've discovered you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat (would-be hecklers) to the punch.