I need to listen well so that I hear what is not said. - Shane Parrish

if you find yourself exerting energy to fit in with a crowd, if you’re frequently fearful of disappointing other people, if you’re afraid of being an outsider, or if the threat of scorn fills you with dread, then beware! The social default is in charge.

our default behavior often makes things worse.

The word selection can be confusing, because its common usage implies choice: I’m selecting this over that. In reality, the concept means that the more favorable a trait is for a particular environment, the higher the chance of that organism living long enough to procreate. Biologist Geerat J. Vermeij describes it as “nonrandom elimination.