Do you know how fat you are, do you? No, you don't, 'CAUSE … - Dylan Moran

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Do you know how fat you are, do you? No, you don't, 'CAUSE YOUR FACE IS AN ISLAND TRAPPED IN A SEA OF FLAB! I would stab you to death... but I can't afford to take the two weeks off work!

Dylan Moran

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About Dylan Moran

Dylan Moran (born November 3, 1971, in Navan, County Meath, Ireland) is an Irish comedian, actor, and writer, best known for his work in Black Books.

Also Known As

Birth Name: Dylan William Moran

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David Sedaris George Carlin J. D. Salinger Lewis Black Louis C.K.

Additional quotes by Dylan Moran

Adulthood feels like walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you.

They tell you, you can get everything you need from pulses and lentils and things like that. Yeah. Everything you need, except company, which is not to be had, because you are dying, bent double in a miasma of your own toxic farts.

Well I’m here, you know? Your house is a medley of disgusting smells, there’s nothing to eat, everybody’s wearing bathrobes, there’s no bar, I can’t fuck anybody. Why am I here?

Do you know how fat you are, do you? No, you don't, 'CAUSE YOUR FACE IS AN ISLAND TRAPPED IN A SEA OF FLAB! I would stab you to death... but I can't … - Dylan Moran

About Dylan Moran

Also Known As

Additional quotes by Dylan Moran