“You’ve behaved very highhandedly, Captain Mallory. Is that the custom out here?” “The custom is, sir, that those who know a situation handle it and … - C. J. Cherryh

There was a certain wisdom in doing little, when one was obliged to act in ignorance.

We cannot say what we would have been, but we can still say what we will be. We are making up that sentence as we go, and we shall never be through with that statement.

We are not mentioning to the captain that Cajeiri is six,” Bren said. “She believes sixteen.”
“Sixteen?” Cajeiri crowed, delighted.
“Hush, rascal,” Ilisidi said.
“It’s a convenient misunderstanding,” Bren said, “saving argument. And there would be argument about his presence otherwise, in a dangerous place. Human custom is against it.”
“Do you hear?” Ilisidi said. “You must pretend ten more years, young scoundrel, to satisfy the ship-aiji’s expectations of your wisdom, your sense and your self-restraint.”
“I think the ship-aiji will suspect me,” Cajeiri said sadly, and the Ragi-speakers could not but laugh a little.