'Indian', [mom said], you will write Indian. And if they have a problem with that let them come and talk to me. They have no business asking you your… - Protima Bedi

My guru said you are too old. I thought I was young -- I was 26. And he said you can't and I said I can. I'll show you. He said it will take many sacrifices. And I said I'll give up anything you want. I didn't realise I would have to give up my family for that. I realise now if I had not gone for three months to Orissa my husband would not have run off with Parveen Babi. So it was really a giving up. My children had to go to boarding school after that -- there was no family. I had to give up my lifestyle, my friends, my smoking, my drinking.

It all came back to my guruji saying bahut kali-ka rup dekhaya tumne. (You have shown a lot of Kali in you). Calm down a little bit. Parvati-ka roop lo. (Take on the image of [[w:Parvati|Parvati).

My creativity is over. Now it is only the question of maintenance. I have empowered the girls to look after themselves. To earn their own money, to be somebody. I need to resuscitate.