I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward … - Gracie Allen

Today millions of people are living who will never do it again. Millions are being born for the first time–and millions are doing nothing because it’s the best offer they’ve had this week. … It is for these people and many others that the Surprise Party is conceived and desecrated, founded upon the principle that everybody is just as good as anybody else, even though they aren’t quite so smart.

As a well-known great man would have said if he had thought of it, “Don’t go around offending people just because it can be done sitting down.”

I'll bet you say that to all the girls!