Carmelita Spats, who oughtta be told "Gorgeous" does not start with an M. - Daniel Handler

You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.

It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season - like all the other seasons - is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them, and that's the end of this particular story.

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.