Palestinian and Israeli leaders finally recover the Road Map to Peace, only to discover that, while they were looking for it, the Lug Nuts of Mutual … - Dave Barry

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club

“But why? I mean, no offense, but this whole thing—the monster, the video you made—it’s stupid. And it’s obviously fake. Everybody can see it’s stupid and fake.”
Ken shrugged. “So?”
Brad gestured at the parking lot. “So why are all these people here?”
“Because everybody else is here.”
“But it’s bullshit.”
“Yeah, but it’s their bullshit. To these kids everything is bullshit, but at least this is bullshit they can be part of.”

Guys care about sports teams. I'm not talking about simply rooting; I'm talking about a relationship that guys develop, a commitment to a sport team that guys take way more seriously than, for example, wedding vows.