Every time you're given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your jo… - Glennon Doyle

It's not the cruel criticism from folks who hate us that scares us away from our Knowing; it's the quiet concern of those who love us.

Why do women find it honorable to dismiss ourselves? Why do we decide that denying our longing is the responsible thing to do? Why do we believe that what will thrill and fulfill us will hurt our people? Why do we mistrust ourselves so completely? Here's why: Because our culture was built upon and benefits from the control of women. The way power justifies controlling a group is by conditioning the masses to believe that the group cannot be trusted. So the campaign to convince us to mistrust women begins early and comes from everywhere. When we are little girls, our families, teachers, and peers insist that our loud voices, bold opinions, and strong feelings are "too much" and unladylike, so we learn to not trust our personalities. Childhood stories promise us that girls who dare to leave the path or explore get attacked by big bad wolves and pricked by deadly spindles, so we learn to not trust our curiosity. The beauty industry convinces us that our thighs, frizz, skin, fingernails, lips, eyelashes, leg hair, and wrinkles are repulsive and must be covered and manipulated, so we learn to not trust the bodies we live in. Diet culture promises us that controlling our appetite is the key to our worthiness, so we learn to not trust our own hunger. Politicians insist that our judgment about our bodies and futures cannot be trusted, so our own reproductive systems must be controlled by lawmakers we don't know in places we've never been. The legal system proves to us again and again that even our own memories and experiences will not be trusted. If twenty women come forward and say, "He did it," and he says, "No, I didn't," they will believe him while discounting and maligning us every damn time. And religion, sweet Jesus. The lesson of Adam and Eve — the first formative story I was told about God and a woman — was this: When a woman wants more, she defies God, betrays her partner, curses her family, and destroys the world. We weren't born distrusting and fearing ourselves

Each of us was born to bring forth something that has never existed: a way of being, a family, an idea, art, a community — something brand-new. We are here to fully introduce ourselves, to impose ourselves and ideas and thoughts and dreams onto the world, leaving it changed forever by who we are and what we bring forth from our depths. So we cannot contort ourselves to fit into the visible order. We must unleash ourselves and watch the world reorder itself in front of our eyes.