"Haven't I seen your face somewhere else?" "No, it's always been right here on the front of my head." - Jasper Fforde

How about this for a title: Men Are from Earth, Women Are from Earth—Just Deal with It.

The first four in the series had been less a lighthearted chronicling of my adventures and more of a “Dirty Harry meets Fanny Hill,” but with a good deal more sex and violence.

Mrs. Next came back into the room. “You never told me you’d bought a gold-plated toilet.”
Landen frowned. “We don’t have a gold-plated toilet.”
“Oh, dear,” said Mrs. Next. I think I’ve just peed in your tuba.”