There are only three reasons you should ever be this delighted about anything, and all of them involve you being a hot chick, meeting me, and lube. - Maddox

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There are only three reasons you should ever be this delighted about anything, and all of them involve you being a hot chick, meeting me, and lube.

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About Maddox

George Ouzounian (better known as Maddox), born March 27, 1978, is the owner of The Best Page in the Universe, a satirical website.

Also Known As

Alternative Names: George Ouzounian
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Additional quotes by Maddox

In an effort to salvage the money I wasted on this bullshit, I ate six cups of jello, one bag of corn nuts, a Soynut bar, and a bag of jelly beans for dinner. The only thing X-TREME about this experience was the X-TREME dump I took later that night:

When the iPhone was first announced, CEO Steve Jobs spewed enough BS to cover a football field full of babies 3 feet deep in bullshit, which sounds cool because he could have potentially murdered a football field full of babies, but he passed on this opportunity by introducing the phone instead.

I have a different stance on abortion: I'm against abortion, but for killing babies. That way everyone loses, and I win. I'm neither pro choice, nor pro life; I'm pro you-shutting-the-hell-up. The only way I'd be "pro choice" is if it meant I could choose which babies I could abort, and only then if I could lift the age restriction to 80."

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