My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes. No matter what your weight is, there will always be someone who weighs 150 pounds mor… - Lewis Black

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My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes. No matter what your weight is, there will always be someone who weighs 150 pounds more than you will ever weigh. It's guaranteed; it's on the back of the menu, read it sometime. They don't give you a cup of coffee, they give you a hot aisle of coffee! It's coffee for 15 people. Even if you're alone, they bring you a big jug of coffee, which makes me feel good 'cause I think maybe somebody's coming and I don't know who. So I put in the sugar and the milk and I drink the whole thing and then I go, "BRING ME SOME GODDAMN PANCAKES!" Son of a bitch, that's too much coffee. What's the matter with you people?

English
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About Lewis Black

Lewis Niles Black (born August 30, 1948) is a Grammy Award-winning American stand-up comedian, author, playwright and actor.

Also Known As

Birth Name: Lewis Niles Black
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Additional quotes by Lewis Black

The argument we have about abortion is not about abortion. It's about when life begins. And we argue it, and we argue, and we argue! And I say we take all the people who think they know and yell and scream and they're sure when life begins and they're sure when life ends, and we lock them in a room. And we tell them to figure it out. And they don't come out until they do. And if they can't, then we kill them.

And I will tell you, because I was six feet from the TV set, that no one—no one—saw a tit. There was no titty to be seen. I know that's a fact, because I'm a guy that, if there's a titty, I'm the first one to look. And if you actually thought that you saw a titty, then... you were desperate to see one. Much like someone crossing a desert might see the mirage of water.

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