Just because we are females doesn’t mean we - Jeff Brown

They were allowed to name you, but they weren’t allowed to label you. They were allowed to encourage you, but they weren’t allowed to shame you. They were allowed to protect you, but they weren’t allowed to abuse you. They were allowed to teach you, but they weren’t allowed to control you. They were allowed to praise you, but they weren’t allowed to define you. They were allowed to hold you, but they weren’t allowed to fondle you. They were allowed to support you, but they weren’t allowed to abandon you. They were allowed to nourish you, but they weren’t allowed to neglect you. They were allowed to birth you, but they weren’t allowed to worth you.

I am firmly of the view that this societal fixation on forgiving others is just another way that we bypass our own rightful anger, confusion, sense of loss. It is also a way that victims end up feeling blamed for their experience.

I do agree that we can’t forgive another until we self-honor, and that forgiveness is welcome if it's organic, but I also believe that forgiveness may have no place in certain dynamics. And that’s entirely okay. Forgiveness is not a measure of our emotional health and well-being. Resolution is. That is, how we come to a relatively resolved understanding of what we went through, how we come to terms with what it was, in a way that brings us to a deeper understanding and peace…Resolution of process, is where it’s at. And there is no reason to feel guilty if forgiveness does not arise within it. It’s enough to find peace in the aftermath.

front of a pretty red-roofed house. All about the square were