It was the ancient Egyptians who first figured out that numbers could, if you added and subtracted them, be used to form mathematics; this made it po… - Dave Barry

This book is dedicated to everybody who buys this book. Without you, I would have to get an actual job.

We must always remember that, as Americans, we all have a common enemy -- an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I refer, of course, to the federal government.

Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.'
Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right?
Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?'
Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?