Give 'em hogwash. They love it. - John Norton

The discovery and settlement of America and Australia are the two most important events of modern times. Christopher Columbus and Captain Cook were the saviours of society.

The Queen has lived for 70 years, for 70 years and three,
And few have lived a flatter life, more useless life than she;
She never did a clever thing or wrote a clever line,
She never did a noble deed in coming times to shine,
And yet we read and still we read in every magazine
The praises of this woman whom the English call the Queen,
Whom the English call the Queen,
The dull and brainless woman whom the English call "the Queen".