You're just another american who is willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick being shoved up your asshole every day... The owners of th… - George Carlin

"Nothing worse... nothing worse that to be stuck somewhere with some married a-hole and have to listen to him tell you about his f***in' kids... Let me tell ya something, folks... nobody cares about your children, okay?" Nobody cares about your children. I speak for everyone. I've been appointed by the rest of the group to inform you we don't care about your children – that's why they're your children, so you can care about them and we don't have to bother.

I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.

Think of the intellect it must take to derive pleasure from this activity: Hitting a ball with a crooked stick...and walking after it! And then...hitting it again! I say, "Pick it up, asshole, you're lucky you found the fuckin' thing! Put it in your pocket and go the fuck home, you're a winner! You're a winner!" But no, Dorko in the plaid knickers is gonna hit it again, and walk some more.