"I thought, "The flowers, save the flowers..." I never thought for a second we wouldn't save the people" - Andrea Gibson

My grandfather went to Heaven.

I know this because he taught my mother
how to wiggle her ears.
I know this because my mother walks the same way
my grandfather did
and on the days my mother cannot get out of bed
her single comfort
is knowing she has his blood.

I keep remembering being fifteen at Disneyland wearing my best friend's hoodie like it was my boyfriend's class ring. How many years it took me just to touch her face. How many years I sent praying my heart could play dead 'til the threat was gone. 'Til the world changed. 'Til history was history.

I feel that sometimes when I’m writing poems — like they don’t yet fit. Do you ever feel like the best of you is something you’re still hoping to grow into?