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" "I’ve spent half of my life not knowing the difference between killing myself and fighting back. What if I don’t want healing
as much as I want justice? What if I don’t care if justice looks exactly like revenge? Do you think I don’t know that I can’t want revenge without strapping the bomb to my own chest? That’s how the dominoes of trauma fall. You become just another thing about to detonate.
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What if I don't want the monster
to stop being a monster?
What if that's the only anchor I have left?
What if my sanity depends on being able to point
at a bad thing and say, That is the bad thing.
Haven't I already lost enough time
losing track of who the enemy is?
I've spent half of my life not knowing the difference
between killing myself and fighting back.
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