Someone tried to tell me the other day that the only habitable place in America is California. But I just don’t understand how you could spend your l… - Max Barry

I feel comfortably qualified to talk about anything, but that's a personal problem and I'm dealing with it.

Last month we had to sit through a presentation on eliminating redundancy, and it was a bunch of PowerPoint slides, plus a guy reading out what was on the slides, and then he gave us all hard copies.

The compound was like a mutant Boy Scout camp: all green tents and vehicles and barrels, smack in the middle of nowhere. He saw a troop of soldiers drilling in a field. They reminded him of high school football players with guns. Then a tank rolled past.
“Shit! What’s that?”
“That is an Abrams M1A battle tank, sir!”
Billy looked around with new respect. Now he understood why the NRA membership fees were so high.