Headmaster: They were all socialists. Why is it always the intelligent people who are socialists? - Alan Bennett

Lady Dundown: How can the Zulu expect to be treated as civilized people if they declare war in the middle of the season!

The Channel is a slipper-bath of irony through which we pass these serious Continentals in order not to be infected by their gloom.

Franklin: Have you ever thought, Headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date? Headmaster: Of course they're out of date. Standards always are out of date. That is what makes them standards.