You know, of all the songs I have ever sung, that is the one I've had the most requests not to. - Tom Lehrer

People do their best satirical work when they’re young. I’m not interested in saying only the nasty. My mind doesn’t run that way anymore. I don’t know if the times are changing or I am.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

During National Brotherhood Week various special events are arranged to drive home the message of brotherhood — this year, for example, on the first day of the week, Malcolm X was killed, which gives you an idea of how effective the whole thing is. I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another, and I know there are people in the world who do not love their fellow human beings — and I hate people like that!