The transportation bill had over $5 billion worth of special local projects and favors attached to it, lamprey-like, by various congresspersons. But … - Dave Barry

This book is dedicated to everybody who buys this book. Without you, I would have to get an actual job.

1968- This is when it began to dawn on me that there was a serious competition going on in America to see who could be the biggest group of assholes: the right-wing assholes who thought that the Vietnam War was a good thing, as long as they personally did not have to go over to Vietnam and get shot at; or the left-wing assholes who thought that what we really needed was for more people to shoot each other here at home. It seemed as if both sets of assholes were winning in 1968. The King assassination did, in fact, result in terrible riots; and the Vietnam War, despite its growing unpopularity, became the longest in American history, with more U.S. troops over there than ever, and more men being drafted, and no end in sight.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.