Truscott: How dare you involve me in a situation for which no memo has been issued. - Joe Orton

Fay: You've been a widower for three days. Have you considered remarrying yet?
McLeavy: No.
Fay: Why not?
McLeavy: I've been so busy with the funeral.

Hal: Bury her naked? My own mum? It's a Freudian nightmare.
Dennis: I won't disagree.
Hal: Aren't we committing some kind of unforgivable sin?
Dennis: Only if you're a Catholic.
Hal: I am a Catholic. I can't undress her. She's a relative. I can go to Hell for it.
Dennis: I'll undress her then. I don't believe in Hell.
Hal: That's typical of your upbringing, baby. Every luxury was lavished on you - atheism, breast-feeding, circumcision. I had to make my own way.

Truscott: I'm no fool.
Fay: Your secret is safe with me.