[when asked about cigarettes] I don't recommend them... but I smoke them. - Elliott Smith

Here's a song I made up while I was watching Xena the Warrior Princess with the sound off. It's a fact. I had a secret crush on Xena. It was a secret to me too. I wouldn't admit it. She's pretty fuckin' tough. She has a good yell... she kills the stupid gladiators with the log-trap. Release the log-trap! She releases the log-trap and they all get... crushed. They'd all wanna be with her if they could, but unfortunately they're not on her side. It's a lot better with the sound off. Really, it is. And the song didn't have anything to do with Xena... but... I was about half a bottle through Jameson's... if that makes any sense.

Elliott: "Do you want to hear a happy or a sad song?"
Crowd: "Happy!"
Elliott: "Old or new?"
Crowd: "Old!"
Elliott: "Happy and old, that's a strange choice."

I'm sorry you seem so stung,
and I'm sorry you feel you have to hold your tongue
when you're so pretty and smart