A Trump was a demon who sometimes appeared to us in quasi-human form in order to fire us from jobs we never wanted in the first place. - Jon Stewart

To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

If you like to do dumb shit -- which is something I like very much to do -- I cannot recommend more, creating a small child who also likes to do dumb shit. Because you can do the dumb shit and say "That's what he wanted!"

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, "We're going to make a killing here." You won't because it's still only as good as the content.