I suppose I try and write in blood a lot of the time. I suppose a lot of it is violent in that if I get angry about something, I don't try to hide it. - Vernon Coleman

Carry a stout stick. I recommend carrying a stick even if you don't need it for support. Sticks are good for hitting and prodding people who have annoyed or patronised you.

[Editors had asked him to tone down his columns] I shout at them. They shout at me. I resign and stamp my feet. I'm terrible — probably the most difficult columnist in Britain to deal with.

You must prepare yourself for a different world. A world in which the rich ride horses, the middle classes use bicycles and the poor walk. If you are planning for the long-term - and in this scenario, five years is long-term - don't buy a house that relies on you having petrol for your car. You want a house in a town with a small garden where you can grow vegetables, and you want to be relatively close to railways, hospitals, shops, and libraries. The government shutting down local post offices is an enormously stupid thing to do.