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" "I was in a state of yearning, and I had been for years. I was not happy—had almost never been happy.
This is terrible! I thought. All those lies! I felt physically sick to see it all: to see myself slack-jawed as a child in front of the television, to see myself in classes being told by robot teachers that “inward development” was the aim of life, that “quick sex is best,” that the only reality was in my consciousness and that it could be altered chemically. What I had wanted, what I had yearned for even then, was to be loved. And to love. And they had not even taught me the word.
Walter Tevis (February 28, 1928 – August 9, 1984) was an American novelist and short story writer.
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But although I had watched television in the same way many times in my life before, I found I could no longer watch it and not think. “Give yourself to the Screen,” they had taught us. It was as basic as “Don’t ask; relax.” But I could no longer give myself to it. I no longer wanted to keep my mind silent, or use it as a vehicle for disconnected pleasure; I wanted to read, and think, and talk.
"Is there a God?" I said. "I mean, are you in touch, telepathically, with any kind of God?"
"No. I'm not in touch with anything like that. As far as I know, there is no God."
"Oh," I said.
"It doesn't bother you," the voice said. "You may think it does; but it doesn't. You're really on your own. You've been learning that."