These people call themselves "right to lifers." Don't you love that phrase? And don't you love the way these kind of people pervert the English langu… - George Carlin

For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label. I feel that if I was figuratively dropped on the Earth and there was a political line, I would be just left of center. The difference for me is that conservatives are more interested in property values and rights and free markets, and liberals are more interested in human rights. In the end, there are people who don't fit into the marketplace and are not equipped. I believe the government should step in where the free market fails.

So maybe it's not the politicians who suck; maybe it's something else. Like the public. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: "The public sucks. Elect me." Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? Where are these people hiding? The truth is, we don't have people like that. Everyone's at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. And complaining about the politicians.

Where would we be without our safe, familiar, American bullshit? "Land of the Free," "Home of the Brave," "The American Dream," "All men are equal," "Justice is blind," "The Press is free," "Your vote counts," "Business is honest," "The good guys win," "The police are on your side," "God is watching you," "Your standard of living will never decline" and "Everything is going to be just fine:" the official national bullshit story. I call it the American Okie Doke. Every one, every one of those items is provably untrue at one level or another, but we believe them because they're pounded into our heads from the time we're children. That's what they do with that kind of thing—pound it into the heads of kids, 'cause they know the children are much too young to be able to muster an intellectual defense against a sophisticated idea like that, and they know that, up to a certain age, children believe everything their parents tell them. And as a result, they never learn to question things. Nobody questions things in this country anymore.