I'm right there, swimming the river of hardships but I know how to swim... - Jack Kerouac

ah, you always go for the ones who don't really want you

It's hard to explain and best thing to do is not be false.

I'm writing this book because we're all going to die — In the loneliness of my life, my father dead, my brother dead, my mother far away, my sister and my wife far away, nothing here but my own tragic hands that once were guarded by a world, a sweet attention, that now are left to guide and disappear their own way into the common dark of all our death, sleeping in me raw bed, alone and stupid...