Cultivate friendships. If you don’t have time to cultivate all of them, plow under every fifth one and collect your bonus. - Gracie Allen

You're the only boy who ever made me cry, and I decided that if you could make me cry, I must really love you.

I’m having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too premanent. After all, there’s no sense putting a lot of time and thought into something you’ll have no use for after you’re elected.

The masses demand a fighting President, and that means you’ve got to offend somebody, because the way I see it, a strong offense is the best attack. So what can you offend? That’s an easy one. Offend the other candidates, because they’ll be too busy talking to hear you, and besides, they might not vote for you anyway.