But people who don’t do much will say they are busy. I wonder what they do. - Elvina Ibru

As soon as the abuse starts. When a man gives you a heavy slap and he says I am sorry, and then the next week he repeats it and says he is sorry , it is time to flee. If my man slaps me once I will take it as ‘okay, it could be his five minutes of madness’. Everybody is allowed that. But if it happens again, then it is probably in his DNA and it is all over. We all have our different situations and that is why I say to girls, use your brains and not your breasts. Go to school, be independent. Whether you are married or not, have your own thing going because a lot of women stay in abusive relationships because they have nowhere else to go. If they leave their husbands, children’s school fees will not be paid and there will be no food in the house and they can’t fend for themselves. So when you have 23-inch waist and 46 inch ‘yansh’ and there is one guy toasting you and he has all the money in the world, beware! That is not what it is all about. Because for every 23 inch waist, there is a 24 and when that man gets bored and if he is abusive, you are in big trouble. So go to school, be independent, your own woman. If you meet a good man, thank God, but if perchance you meet a monster, move on before you are killed.

But we don’t wake up in the morning and see a bag of money waiting for us outside. I have been working since I was 17.

As far as character is concerned, honesty is important no matter how much you have, if you made your money dis-honestly I no fit follow you. For instance, if you are doing 419, it won’t happen. Honesty in your relationship is important. I always tell guys, maybe they think I am joking. Try and be open. If you have been messing around as a guy, tell me. If for instance you play away match and carry something, tell me; don’t hide it and don’t deprive me of sex because you know you have something because I will begin to worry you about myself. ‘Is it that this guy does not love me anymore?’ Just tell me ‘babe, I mess up-o, see wetin happen.’ I would say ‘oya come, make we go see doctor first, let us go and look at the case’ and after that we can talk about it because what I need from a man is a best friend. You have to be my best friend and in order for that to happen you have to be open and honest with me so we understand each other. So if for instance I am dating you now and someone sees you with a girl and then she comes to me and says ‘I saw Tony the other day with a chick, I would say ‘yes, she was wearing a short red mini skirt, high heels, her hair was dread locked, any problem?’ I don’t like people being involved in my relationship but please, don’t make me look stupid so tell me first so I go know how to arrange myself when those wicked people that want to spoil the matter come around. Generosity is very important.