"Great-grandfather died under strange circumstances. He opened a vein in his bath."
"I never knew baths had veins," protested Gabrilowitsch."
"I neve… - S. J. Perelman
"Great-grandfather died under strange circumstances. He opened a vein in his bath." "I never knew baths had veins," protested Gabrilowitsch." "I never knew his great-grandfather had a ba—" began Falcovsky derisively.
Sidney Joseph Perelman (February 1, 1904 – October 17, 1979) was an American humorist and writer for the stage and screen. He co-wrote screenplays for the Marx Brothers (Monkey Business and Horse Feathers), and for Around the World in Eighty Days. He contributed sketches to The New Yorker.
Portrait adapted from
Wikimedia Commons, Bernard Gotfryd (Public domain / CC0)
Also Known As
Alternative Names:
Sidney Joseph Perelman
•
S.J. Perelman
Only the scenario writers are exempt. These are tied between the tails of two spirited Caucasian ponies, which are then driven off in opposite directions. This custom is called "a conference".
[The waiters'] eyes sparkled and their pencils flew as she proceeded to eviscerate my wallet – paté, Whitstable oysters, a sole, and a favorite salad of the Nizam of Hyderabad made of shredded five-pound notes.
In pulp fiction it is a rigid convention that the hero’s shoulders and the heroine’s balcon constantly threaten to burst their bonds, a possibility which keeps the audience in a state of tense expectancy. Unfortunately for the fans, however, recent tests reveal that the wisp of chiffon which stands between the publisher and the postal laws has the tensile strength of drop-forged steel.
