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I made a fool of myself over John Foster Dulles. I made an ass of myself over John Foster Dulles. Something wasn’t right. They weren’t laughing. I pu… - Carol Burnett
" "I made a fool of myself over John Foster Dulles. I made an ass of myself over John Foster Dulles. Something wasn’t right. They weren’t laughing. I pushed on. The first time I saw him ’twas at the UN. I never had been one to swoon over men, But I swooned and the drums started pounding and then … I MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF OVER JOHHHNNN FOSTER DULLES…. Nothing. Nada. They were just sitting there, staring at me. It wasn’t that they were unruly or not interested. It would’ve been better if they had been, but no, they were paying attention, they just weren’t laughing. I felt like I was performing in front of an oil painting. And this was only the opening number. I had twenty minutes to go. My body was heavy with dread.
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Additional quotes by Carol Burnett
Oh God. I wiped my eyes with my fingers and looked up at him. He had kind eyes — bleary, but kind. “Hey there, little lady.” He smiled at me nicely. His voice matched his kind eyes. “Yes, sir?” Please, God, don’t let me blubber. “Well, my goodness.” He reeled back, bumping up against the wall, and then pulled himself forward again. “Aren’t you the little lady I just saw this very minute? Downstairs — just now, on the stage?” He had a sweet smile. I was starting to feel a little bit better. I smiled back. “Yes, sir, I am.” There was a pause. “Boy, you stink.” And with that he disappeared into the men’s room.
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