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" "Some women tell me how they trained their partners. Sure, they came rough and reluctant, but now they do the dishes without complaining. And they’ll cook dinner some nights. See? See. Maybe, they imply, if I had tried harder, worked harder, trained my husband, stayed miserable a little longer, I could have stayed married. As if that was the one thing I wanted to spend my time on — training a grown man like a horse.
Lyz Lenz (born 1982) is an American author and editor. She was previously a columnist at The Cedar Rapids Gazette and served as managing editor of The Rumpus. She is the author of God Land and Belabored. Lenz moved from Vermillion, South Dakota to Minneapolis, Minnesota while in high school and graduated from Eden Prairie High School. She has an undergraduate degree from Gustavus Adolphus College. Lenz belonged to Evangelical churches but came into conflict with their orthodoxies including on the role of women in the church and the exclusion of gay and lesbian people.
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I want to explain to her about work, about how I feel and experience value. I want to tell her how deeply I love my kids and how working isn’t a rejection of them but it’s an embrace of my life and my skills and oh, by the way, why is it the woman’s job anyway? But I can’t reargue the entire first wave of feminism in this church. And if I do, it won’t help. The line has been drawn at values. It’s one word but it means something vastly different to Marilyn than it does to me.
How does a mission of outreach and support to immigrant communities square with the repressive politics of the region? In a way, it’s the guiding question of this book — how can a nation that professes to be majority Christian become a breeding ground for hate? How can Evangelical leaders like Franklin Graham preach purity for women from the pulpit and still support as president a man who brags about grabbing women by the pussy? How can people who have seen me spend my whole life struggling to live and practice my faith call me godless?
How can a message of peace and unity bring so much pain and loss and destruction?
When I ask what is happening to our churches, what I really want to know is what is happening to our souls?