You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we … - George Carlin

I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their
final exam.

That's another complaint of mine – too much use of this prefix "pre". It's all over the language now — "pre"-this, "pre"-that, place the turkey in a "pre-heated" oven. It's ridiculous! There are only two states an oven can possibly exist in: Heated or unheated! "Pre-heated" is a meaningless fucking term! It's like "pre-recorded" — "This program was pre-recorded." Well, of course it was pre-recorded! When else are you gonna record it, afterwards? That's the whole purpose of recording; to do it beforehand! Otherwise it doesn't really work, does it? "Pre-existing", "pre-planning", "pre-screening" — you know what I tell these people? "Pre-suck my genital situation!" And they seem to understand what I'm talking about.

I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.