I feel like my marriage came apart because of me, not because of anyone else. I can take responsibility. I knew I was a good mom. I thought I was adu… - Erika Jayne

So TED Pasadena reached out to me in the spring of last year and asked if I'd be interested in doing a [TED] Talk. I was totally blown away because I would have never thought that would even come across my universe. I said yes, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I thought that talking about my own life wouldn't be that challenging but it turned out that it was. If anyone gets a chance to do [one] I highly recommend it because it's very challenging. You know, I still haven't watched mine. I still won't watch it.

And you've [got to] pick and choose when you wanna be tough. If you're tough all the time or you raise your voice all the time, it's really ineffective. Something that you might say now in the heat of the moment will not serve you later ... You have to know when to put your foot down and really stand on your conviction. If you're gonna really let someone have it, you have to really have your shit together.

The day that my stepfather left was hard, though. Renee sat in a chair in the living room, wearing a pair of navy shorts and a purple polo shirt. She was sobbing into her hands. Her face was pressed into the side of the chair. I thought - and I will never forget this - I don't ever want to be like that. I love my mother, but in that moment, I saw her as weak. I knew that she could survive without a man, but she wanted a partner so badly that she let him ruin her life.