Help me find some shoes I really like. Help me also to find a nymphomaniac coke connection who owns a Ferrari dealership. - George Carlin

It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're tired.

Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked. Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach a military age. Then they think you're just fine, just what they've been looking for. Conservatives want alive babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. These people are not pro-life, they're just anti-woman, simple as it gets, anti-woman. They don't like women. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state and war machine.