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I’m at a point in my career where I really want to humanize myself and allow the world to see there’s more to me than my adult videos. I want to show them my raw self, myself without makeup, myself when I’m just rambling and talking. And maybe I shouldn’t have said the things I say but I fucking said it because that’s who I am.

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I kind of wanted to open it up a little bit more this time and kind of expose a little bit more of my vulnerable side. The most important thing for me was to share exactly how I felt because I'm sure there are thousands and thousands of people who can relate.

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We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we’re afraid to let them see it in us. We’re afraid that our truth isn’t enough — that what we have to offer isn’t enough without the bells and whistles, without editing, and impressing. I was afraid to walk on that stage and show the audience my kitchen-table self — these people were too important, too successful, too famous. My kitchen-table self is too messy, too imperfect, too unpredictable. Here’s the crux of the struggle: I want to experience your vulnerability but I don’t want to be vulnerable.

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I was waiting for someone to unveil me. To save me. But the hardest, yet most liberating truth, was that I needed to unveil myself. I could easily hide behind my words and hope that someone out there would understand me. But I knew I couldn’t hide anymore.

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I knew that I wanted to be visible about my sexuality, because in all the territories that Netflix goes out in, there might be a boy somewhere that goes, “Wait, what?” Which is what I didn’t have when I was young. All I know is that I’m happy to keep working really hard and if there are opportunities for representation, and to make that point, then that’s something I’ll always strive to do.

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