Remember this: however bad you think things are today, however awful you consider our leaders to be, however stupid you think your fellow Americans a… - Dave Barry

The metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and time again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club.

...Molly, at the rail, her wet hair matted down, her dress torn, watching Peter intently until she knew he saw her, then mouthing something... Fly, she was saying, Fly.
“I CAN’T,” Peter shouted moving his arms helplessly. “I CAN’T, MOLLY!