N.B. This is rote sarcastikul. - Charles Farrar Browne

The prevailin' weakness of most public men is to Slop over. G. Washington never slopt over.

Hearto4, as I hav numerously obsarved, I have abstrained from having any sentimunts or principles, my pollertics, like my religion, bein of a exceedin accommodatin character. But the fack can't be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us, & I feel it's my dooty to accept your invite for one consecutive nite only.

He is dreadfully married. "He's the most married man I ever saw in my life."