As a keen political observer, I've noticed that most people do not really vote for someone for the Presidency as much as they vote against the other … - Pat Paulsen

I've conducted my campaign thus far in the true American political tradition: I lied about my intention to run [...] I have been consistently vague on all the issues [...] Therefore I promise you all, my fellow Americans, that I will continue to make promises that I will be unable to fulfill.

I ask you, will I solve our civil rights problems? Will I unite this country and bring it forward? Will I obliterate the national debt? [long pause] Sure, why not? Thank you.

… let's all remember that we have a government "of the people, for the people, and by the people", and there are very few people in our government that you can't buy.